Is this the end of my childhood? Of course not.

As a year 13 in a London 6th form college, this coming Friday I am expected to leave my school forever, this is one of the most frightening milestone moments of my life and I’m not quite sure what to do with it. Does this mean I’m a real adult? Like the ones you see walking down the street – does this mean I have responsibilities? I am terrified. The fact that I am expected to leave my home, my safe place, my bed, in September to go to uni and meet new people and just in general do things I am totally not ready for. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO DO THIS? I don’t want to leave my friends and family, quite frankly, i am just not ready. I am still a child and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

What’s funny though is that my school is frantically trying to distract us from this fear of the real world with fun and games and biscuits. Which is nice, at first, but once you have spent an entire week on a diet of sugar and suppressed emotions it does start to take it’s toll. Now, with two days left of school, I feel sick as well as having the stress of cobbling an outfit together that somehow resembles Ariel. It has come to the stage were Sebastian’s word make a little more sense, especially after the most recent election:

I have had some of my best experiences at Marylebone, and right now I am holding heartfelt messages from my Psychology teachers and trying my best not to cry, this school has been incredibly supportive and nurturing all the way from year 7 (2008) to now. I can’t believe it’s all coming to an end, but I know that Marylebone has done everything in it’s ability to prepare me for the daunting ‘real world’.

So essentially, what this quiet rant has done has made me realise that although I am terrified, I am also glad. I am leaving with amazing friends and experiences and that (as cheesey as it sounds) is the most important thing I could’ve asked for.

The real world can not make me to grow up, and although the life of the mermaid will always sound more appealing to me, I have a feeling that I’ll be okay, and right now, that is the most comforting thing I can tell myself.

Last updated: April 16, 2020