The Confrontation Shimmy

Every child goes through a stage when something they did or said would be beyond cool. Some of these signature ‘things’ may be unique or they may be from the previous generation and adopted by the child in question. So at first, speaking from my own experience, we would all be the coolest cats in school by going about and saying ‘OMG thats so OTT’ or “LOLS!”. I kid you not. In year 7 we all lived in this virtual text messaging world.

BRB

Right, back. Anyways, so that was year 7, and I think I have given you avery brief idea of what a ‘tweens’* life involves. However, now we have reached an important stage in the evolution of ‘moves’. An agressive gesture used to frighten someone who has ‘dissed’ you – the offender generally has to be shorter to achieve the full effect. This gesture has been nicknamed – by myself ‘The Confrontation Shimmy’ . This is when the ‘offendee’ retrieves his/her reputation and dignity by closing the already uncomfortable distance between himself or herself and the offender and says something threatening and then does some kind of clicky thing with his/her fingers with a shimmy of the shoulders then walks away. I found myself in the position recently and was faced with a acne coated teen, her forehead inches from my nose, growling,

“You talking to me?” When I had somehow offended her. I forget why, but nevertheless I replied.

“Why yes, yes I am.” Hoping that she wasn’t always this confused.

Then suddenly her thumb and middle finger were snapping away and her face came so close to my own that I almost could feel the grease flying off her in flecks. I was so surprised by this that I automatically stepped away. That was a mistake on my part because at that point we shared a moment. A moment so intense that in the minute we shared her eyes began to bulge out of her sockets like a frog when it sees a particularly fat fly – I realise I have just descried myself as a fat fly – then she looked me up and down and said

“Yeah! You better walk away” I was just about to point out that I wasn’t going anywhere and that if she wanted to continue the conversation I would oblige, but by that point she was stomping off to a chorus of “ooooooooohhh”‘s

*’Tween’ a term for a child reaching a the age of a teenager. Between the ages 10-12.

Last updated: April 16, 2020